We’ll be honest with you. It’s easy to think that married life is going to be an endless shower of sunshine and roses. Unfortunately, reality has to set in eventually, and at times it’s not pretty. We’ve compiled a few of the main things newlyweds have problems with in the first year of marriage after all, forewarned is forearmed, as they say!
Every couple fights. The trick is to fight in a healthy way! Sure it may make you feel better to yell and scream, but that’s only temporary, and it certainly won’t fix whatever’s caused the row in the first place. In the heat of the moment it might be hard to start a calm, rational discussion of what’s bothering you, but it’s honestly the best solution! If it helps, give yourself a time out. Leave the room, go for a walk, read a book… something to clear your head. You’ll both have time to think, and you’ll be able to come back together and hopefully discuss things calmly.
There’s also the tendency to fight over the little things. You know that saying, Don’t sweat the small stuff? That’s good advice! We all have our other issues they leave wet towels on the floor, or leave the cap off the toothpaste… and while these things can be really annoying, are they really matters of life or death?
Did you know that money is the number one thing couples fight about? It’s not surprising, given the recession, unemployment and budget cuts… but you don’t have to let it beat you! Remember how you rocked your wedding budget and managing the finances? You can do the same thing in your post-wedding world too.
First things first what sort of debts are you both carrying? Get those out in the open. Figure out how much each of you earns, plus any additional payments you may receive (Child Benefit, etc). Look at your expenses (rent/mortgage, bills, food, utilities, etc) and figure out how much you should have left over. From there, you can set financial goals (a holiday, buying a car, buying your first home…) and come up with a plan to make those goals a reality!
Don’t forget to talk things through on a regular basis. Situations change, and you might be able to save more, or have to cut back for a bit. Or you might get an unexpected windfall a tax refund or winning the Euromillions! (hey, a girl can dream, right?) But if you talk things through regularly, you’ll be able to deal with situations as they come up, without any worry or stress.
Communication can always cause problems… especially when you aren’t communicating! Whether it’s not speaking up when something’s bothering you (your spouse is not a mind reader, unfortunately) or one of you making important decisions without talking it through first (there are TWO of you in your marriage, right?), good communication is the best way to ensure a happy and healthy marriage.
So what do you do? Well, if something is bothering you, pick a good time and bring it up. Sometimes just getting a problem off your chest is enough to make you feel better. Other times you may be able to come up with a solution together you hadn’t thought of. That’s teamwork!
Many couples find that once they’re married (or sometimes even before) their sex life goes downhill or becomes routine. But marriage doesn’t have to mean an end to good sex! Of course you’re busy, you’re tired, you have a headache… but you know something? Those excuses were there BEFORE you got married too, and that didn’t stop you before, did it?
If you do have problems, talk them through. The worst thing you can do is let resentment or frustration build, because that will only make things worse. It may sound cheesy, but have regular date nights. Taking time out from your busy lives to reconnect and re-romance each other is not only good for your sex life… it’s good for your souls, too!