mrs2be.ie

[newbie1]

hi there all,
this is my first post here so hi first of all. I was wondering if i could get some opinions about whether or not you guys think an engagement ring is mandatory, the thing is when the h2b and i decided to get married it wasn't a traditional proposal exactly, it came up in converstion and before we knew it we had set a date, the thing is i havent gotten an engagement ring and the h2b is insisting on getting me one even tho i don't think its necessary as money is tight enough, but he thinks he has to, personally i would prefer to put the money towards having a better wedding day and noone we have told has even asked about it, i was just wondering what u guys think ps sorry for rambling on a bit

[mrs smurf]

i think its just personal choice. a girl that works with my mam just sent wedding invitations out to people 8 weeks before the wedding and nobody knew that they were engaged or getting married till then. she never had a ring and i think when they got the wedding bands they just got a set of two rings for her that matched each other and one she counts as her engagement/eternity ring. the wedding band is the important one i think. (although i do my engagement ring and wouldnt be without it) but i think its definitely personal preference.
i know loads of people who have engagement rings too that are not your typical solitaire or three stone ring. ones with their birth stone or some wishbone ones.

[MrsM2010]

You could always get an antique ring or something, if you didn't want anything too expensive. Or see if you want to save,see if you get a grandmothers ring or something??
Another alternative is to get one after the event if you can afford it? I personally love my ring so that's why I'm biased!! One of my cousins is married a year and she has no engagement ring. Its all down to personal choice.

[tattyteddy]

if you wanted one but want to spend more money on the wedding itself when you are looking for the wedding rings you could always buy the bridal sets which are avalible just an idea

[MrsM]

:happywave if you wanted one but want to spend more money on the wedding itself when you are looking for the wedding rings you could always buy the bridal sets which are avalible just an idea

I will admit I love my engagement ring and I always will it means so much to me and like yourselves we more discused it then had the romantic proposal. The day that we went to get it was so special to me the excitement that he showed about getting this for me was what made it so great.

My advice would be do what feels right for both of you it is your engagement and wedding and nobody elses!!!

[newbie1]

hi there again and thanks for your replies, i'm gonna show them to the h2b and hopefully he won't be putting himself under so much pressure to get the money up for an expensive ring that like i say is not necessary to me right now( not to say i wouldn't like on in the future) he's killing himself doing overtime in work as it is trying to save for the wedding already and its just more pressure he doesn't need so thanks again for taking the time to share your thoughts

[MrsM]

dont worry about it thats what we are here for. Ask any questions you like we all have at least one along the way

[Ido]

Hi Newbie,

I think you are so thoughtful and giving to be so concerned about h2b being under unneccessary pressure to get you an engagement ring. A lot of girls would want their rock regardless so I can see from your posts one of the qualities he sees in you.
You know best what situation you are in and if you're happy to wait until a later date do and if you don't want one at all at all then that's your choice too. As the other girls said personal choice.

I have an engagement ring and I do , however we got it last year and times were different, if we were to be engaged this year I would probably be waiting until a later date to get one. We were on holidays in Dubai and that's where we got mine.

Another idea would be to get it on your honeymoon if you are planning one. Dubai and USA are popular honeymoon destinations and cheaper diamonds. (Dubai is a 3rd cheaper, not sure about US). Also diamonds have come down in value at the mo so maybe if you are heading away you might see something you like and wouldn't break the bank. The ring I have - there is no way I would have gotten it here in Ireland. I think this whole business of 3 months salary or whatever it is is fine if you're a footballer but here in the real world 3 months salary is 3 months of mortgage and food on the table

[MrsM]

I think this whole business of 3 months salary or whatever it is is fine if you're a footballer but here in the real world 3 months salary is 3 months of mortgage and food on the table

Well said I do I dont think there are many ppl that think that that is a good idea and that was before the downturn!!!

[newbie1]

thanks so much girls,just showed h2b ur replies and he agrees that we should til we're on a better footing to get the ring (he suggested first anniversary) which suits me just fine and i'm so delighted cos he's promised to ease up on the overtime next so we can spend some quality time together and with our 2 little boys (might even get out for a gargle at this rate), so again thanks a million i can actually see the weight lifted off his shoulders as he thought the family were saying it was ok not to have the ring to make him feel better so to get another perspective on it outside the family/friends circle was exactly what he needed

[MrsM]

oh thats great news newbie1 Im delighted for you and your H2B both of you canrelax now and enjoy this time together

[MrsM2010]

Am delighted for you and h2b!!!