mrs2be.ie

[augustbride2012]

Need some advice - in Hen Hell
Still a year to wedding so am not pushed to organised Hen Night yet but after huge with my 2 sisters/2 of my bridesmaid or the bridemaidzillas as I have taken to calling them, am considering not having a hen night. Not into big nights out with loads of booze and men in night clubs - bridemaidzillas are. They ambushed me last night to 'discuss' the Hen Night and by discuss I mean they spent 20 minutes shouting about how they weren't going on some dry night out with my sad friends - I have a particular night in mind - a murder mystery or crafts/pottery class and dinner and lots of bubbly, chat and hen games in a house hotel that the group has booked out for the night (ie only the hen night peeps staying so a private gaff), the Bridesmaidzillas are not impressed but the FSIL's think its class and most inportant so do I.

What you you all think?
Do I dig the heels in and just have all out war for the next 13 months
Or just forget about it - we are building a house and would prefer to put the energy and effort into our new family home?

[dreamhusband2b]

there is a book called how to hen party u shud get it for ur sisters honestly!! ur the hen and its all bout u and wat u want to do its the 1 nite that all the attention is on u its ur decision wat u wana do def dnt let them bully u into doin wat they wana do.its hen party law that they have to do watever u want on the nite evn if they dnt want to!!!

[Its_my_day_soon]

augustbride you sound the same as me, I didn't want the big night out. I don't drink and I'm not a fan of night clubs. I ended up going to a place (cottages for couples google it if you want) and they rent out accomodation in cork, fairly swish house that connected to another house, it slept 10 and space for blow up beds I think I had 14 at it and was comfy. There is also two hot tubs to enjoy. I went there Friday night and saturday night and home sunday. it was just us and was class. we had a spa treatment on saturday and we also did a horse riding trek and then dinner out in a fab restaurant the sat night. Thats what I wanted and my bridesmaids helped make it happen, like yours should. Just tell them that you want x y and z and if they don't then they don't have to come on the hen. And just organise yourself and a few friends to do what it is you want to do. At the end of the day it is YOUR hen, dig those heels in girl and have the night/s that YOU want.

[bingowings]

Certainly, dig the heels in! If they are married already they have had their day and if not they'll have their day in the future. This is your hen and they should remember that. Why should you try and please them they obviously don't care what you want to do. I know you will want your sisters there but if they don't like it then they don't have to go. End of. I don't think there should be any further conversations about it other than telling them this is how it's going to be and that you can organise it yourself if they don't want to and it's up to them if they want to go or not. Seriously girl put the foot down it's your hen and please yourself.

Sorry it just really annoys me when other people try to take over your wedding/hen. I'm lucky my sis is the model Chief Bridesmaid but I've been through enough bridal parties to see the kind of sh*t people pull.

By the by love the idea of your hen if your sisters don't want to go I'll take their place

[MrsMoo]

Do what you want to do dont feel pressured into something u dont want after all its ur hens not theres

[hugbear]

Thats unreal, it all depends what YOU want.. its actually a year away too, they need to cop on. Are they organising a night for you or for themselves???
I think you should ambush them sometime when they least expect it and tell them what you want.

[augustbride2012]

Girls - thanks for the support - after last night just felt like nixing the whole hen idea but you are all right. For once its all about me and I don't have to apologise for that, its not bridezillaish to want to have the hen night you'd enjoy.

To be honest I should have expected this sort of behaviour from them - they aren't married and want to it to be their big day too - I have given them free rein on the dress as long as they are the same colour and approx. length, getting a dress maker who is making 3 different styles of dresses to suit them each but of the same fabric, they have free rein on the hair and make-up and they are going to their usual hairdresser - not mine (that was another argument as they think I should go to their hairdresser with them not mine own). To be honest it won't be so difficult if my Mother wasn't backing them up every step of the way and going along with them and agreeing that I am in the wrong.

I hadn't realised that the stress of weddings isn't from the organisational details (that part has been fine so far) - the stress is other people

[hugbear]

Girls - thanks for the support - after last night just felt like nixing the whole hen idea but you are all right. For once its all about me and I don't have to apologise for that, its not bridezillaish to want to have the hen night you'd enjoy.

To be honest I should have expected this sort of behaviour from them - they aren't married and want to it to be their big day too - I have given them free rein on the dress as long as they are the same colour and approx. length, getting a dress maker who is making 3 different styles of dresses to suit them each but of the same fabric, they have free rein on the hair and make-up and they are going to their usual hairdresser - not mine (that was another argument as they think I should go to their hairdresser with them not mine own). To be honest it won't be so difficult if my Mother wasn't backing them up every step of the way and going along with them and agreeing that I am in the wrong.

I hadn't realised that the stress of weddings isn't from the organisational details (that part has been fine so far) - the stress is other people

You've hit the nail on the head there!!!

[Apple]

Oh I really hope your sisters cop on and give you the hen night you deserve! I really do!
I was at a hen night for a friend of mine last year. She's the kind of girl who loves to go out but not nightlcubs - she likes wine and food and having the chats. We surprised her with a pottery class - they girls were so lovely. They let us go there early and set up the champagne and nibbles. We were there a good couple of hours, then after than we headed to this posh hostel (its like a hotel - trust me) up in the wicklow mountains and then headed to a little village and all the 10 of us just went to this little pub that had a band on and stayed put for the night! It was great! We knew this is what the hen wanted so we stayed true to her wishes! I really hope your sisters do it for you - its what you deserve!

[miss wondering]

Some ppl just like to moan and give out. Sounds to me like your sisters are jealous. I have orgainsed my hen myself hotel bus meal and seated area in pub reserved. Its up to my bm's wat they do wit me from dere.

But it was my hen and i wanted a certain way and wanted to do certain things so i booked dem myself. Job done.

One of my bm's isn't happy about it but i told her out straight it was my hen end of!!!!

[sdengaged]

Dig those heels in girl! You deserve the hen u want even if it means booking it yourself