mrs2be.ie

[AnCiotog]

Or does he care what colour type you use in the invites, the colour of the bouquets, unity candles...... He's involved in everything so far, but not sure what things I should absolutely have his involvement in. What about other missies? I don't want to have a massive over something!

[Ciarafee]

We discussed all the big stuff but he has interest in flowers, colours. Have discussed every over 100euro with him! Most of the time he just nods but at least he cnnot say I did not involve him!

[Hailey]

Well mostly, some things he just doesn't need to knw bout!!! He is very good at sayin no

[Mags2012]

Yep he's very involved...met florist with me & trying to get cake sorted together. At the start I picked bridesmaids dresses with the girls and showed him sample of material colour. i made out invites and showed him said lovely so went ahead an ordered them. Went to wedding fair etc. His day too......

[mollybird]

ya h2b was def dragging the heels about getting engaged but once that happened he has been involved in alot of things. i'm glad as i don't want him missing out on creating his day either. he is picking the car and the band pretty much. but has come up with his own idea's that i like e.g he wants a pic of the two of us (prob our engagment pic) and paper round it to use as our guest book. he said to our co ordinator that he would like laterns in the smoking area (nice garden area) to make it look nice. a few other bits and pieces.

[AnCiotog]

Oh cool, I'm on the right track then! He's asked his sister make the cake, he's been to the hotels, photographer, the band and all of that. If you're having a theme did one of you come up with it and see if he liked it? I'm big into vintage so my dress, shoes etc are all vintage theme, he likes music so our table plan will have musical instruments for him and famous vintage couples for me. But I will feel bad if I go with lots of vintage bits and there'll be less music bits. So that's why I'm checking stuff with you guys.

[Hailey]

we are having a racing theme, as thats a common interest we share. He seemed happy to go along with it so i didnt ask him for other options as the first wedding fair we went to had a similiar theme and he really liked it

[feb2012]

At the start I was trying to involve him in everything, but it just got to a stage when he was not interested. I did have a big Moan about it on here, and just found out that men are interested but only to a point. Sorry BluefishJD is an exception.

I think you learn to do alot on your own and only when it comes to the big things he will get involved. I always kindly said things in passing conversations so that if there was anything I missed I could say well I did tell you but you were not interested.

I think when it does get too much some times, they have to give a lending hand..Because I would be and he would get the message and help out.

I personally would say it but only to make sure that he feels involved..

[Lorraine78]

Have to say,mine has been great so far.He's organised the big stuff like the church,venue and cars so he leaving all the other bits to me.He's no interest in flowers and invites so i'll happily take them on myself!!

[caroline_A2]

my h2b is helping out he organised the honeymoon and sorted out our invitations ive asked him about all the other important most times he just glazes over at me and others he forgets he has actually agreed to stuff esp when it gets delivered.
but i am asking him anyway

[BluefishJD]

an exception indeed Feb2012 but I'm sure I'm not the only one, at first I did feel my over involvement as a necessity due to me being the "local" as my B2B is from Poland but over time I have really enjoyed the planning process and have a genuine interest in how things look, what color we should go for, decorations for the church and the overall feel and vibe for OUR big day and it's not that I'm choosing everything on my own, all things would be done together but as I said I just have more contacts here so it is easier for me to get the foot in the door so to speak and then we'd both talk about it and make a decision and then there is some parts were B2B is happy for me to go at it myself - as in invitations & Stationery, Mass Booklets the little extras such as bubbles, table decoration etc things that I'd see that just know would work and add to our day and truthfully have loved the experience and like that B2B is well able to go off and pick things on her own as well knowing that I'd be fine with it. But I have noticed this topic appear a few times here in relation to Grooms involvement or lack there of and I have my own ideas on it so if you can bear with me:

In essence as a designer I really like all things esthetically pleasing and have a good eye for colors, patterns, photos, design and not that I would ever want to take from my B2B's dream vision in her head I can add to it. As we are not having the most traditional of weddings which I am sure is apparent in my past posts my involvement just works and works well for both of us and we really look upon this day being OUR day and the start of the next chapter in our lives together so am delighted to have so much input but back to my thoughts on the general lack of interest in Irish Grooms 2 be - Realistically some men - and as a man I am not knocking my fellow men as I too at times can loose interest but are just not interested in the finicky bits and pieces and lead up to a decision and one thing I want to put out there is as follows - I do think that it is the way men are brought up in relation to weddings - from a very young age all we here about is "the Brides Big Day" wether it's a sister or a cousin - "oh wait until she's getting married she'll be a princess", you even hear of things like - "she has being planning this since she was a child" and don't get me wrong I am not against this but if I am explaining myself correctly as we lads grow up and even as adult males we are bombarded through media/films and indeed the heavily female orientated wedding industry that it is really all about the Bride (too right I hear you say) which again I am fine with - so with all these messages from a very young age that weddings are just about the bride it's no wonder some fellas may feel somewhat alien from this world and take a huge step back and some who may have an interest just wouldn't want to press anything or put forward their own ideas incase they were stepping over the line or taking away from something that they have been told is "The Brides Day" I don't know what you think of this but it is just something to think about and maybe a little push or asking for help may surprise you - us men like getting jobs and often getting them completed to the best of our ability and we are (I think) generally better at things like haggling so why not give your grooms some jobs even small one's just so as he knows he is involved and can approach you with ideas/thoughts without stepping on your toes! And then on the flip side there is just some lads out there who are just not interested in these things and are happy enough to turn up but then this gives you ample opportunity to have it all your way so win win?? Hope above reads correctly and not knocking anyone it's just my thoughts!

[MrsKenny2013]

Yeah have to say mine is really involved but would leave things to me aswell. As the other girlies, its his day aswell and I want him to be involved. There are a couple of things I want that he thinks are silly but think will sneak a couple of them in anyway! they are not big so dont mind!
go you Bluefish!!! exactly right at least thats how I think aswell. Wouldnt want him to not be part of it as I see it as our day and wouldnt dream of its as only My day!

[TanyaBranning]

I researched everything, and then when it came down to it said to my husband "Do you prefer A or B?" so at least he had a say in what we went for in the end. By his own admission he knows nothing about these things, so he was happy to let me carry on without him.

Things like Unity Candles and ring cushions I just ordered and showed them to him when they arrived. But he chose his wedding attire, helped select a band, cars, honeymoon etc., had a great say in choosing the menu, but left the girlie side of things and the minor details to me.

[AnCiotog]

Turns out I'm just like the rest of you then! I was so afraid I was doing things oddly, because I'm the first girl in my family to get married. I saw topics about guys not caring, and others saying h2b was involved in every single thing and I wasn't sure where I sat on that one. H2B is between both, he's not overly bothered by the dresses bits, not sure on the flowers we've not gone there yet but he's been very much involved in the picking of the hotel, the guest list, the choosing of the venue for the pre marriage course, picking the band, the recessional song was his choosing, our surprise for our guests (and my parents in particular) during communion time was his idea, the entrance song he's letting to me because i'll the one coming up the aisle (but I'm asking his ok on that one), first dance song was suggested by me, he listened and loved it....... So now I feel much better.

Bluefish, I agree with you. It's our day, not mine. Personally I was never one of those who thought about my wedding since i was a child, in fact I always assumed I wouldn't be getting married so I'm only getting excited about planning a wedding since the New Year!

[AnCiotog]

:lol: an exception indeed Feb2012 but I'm sure I'm not the only one, at first I did feel my over involvement as a necessity due to me being the "local" as my B2B is from Poland but over time I have really enjoyed the planning process and have a genuine interest in how things look, what color we should go for, decorations for the church and the overall feel and vibe for OUR big day and it's not that I'm choosing everything on my own, all things would be done together but as I said I just have more contacts here so it is easier for me to get the foot in the door so to speak and then we'd both talk about it and make a decision and then there is some parts were B2B is happy for me to go at it myself - as in invitations & Stationery, Mass Booklets the little extras such as bubbles, table decoration etc things that I'd see that just know would work and add to our day and truthfully have loved the experience and like that B2B is well able to go off and pick things on her own as well knowing that I'd be fine with it. But I have noticed this topic appear a few times here in relation to Grooms involvement or lack there of and I have my own ideas on it so if you can bear with me:

In essence as a designer I really like all things esthetically pleasing and have a good eye for colors, patterns, photos, design and not that I would ever want to take from my B2B's dream vision in her head I can add to it. As we are not having the most traditional of weddings which I am sure is apparent in my past posts my involvement just works and works well for both of us and we really look upon this day being OUR day and the start of the next chapter in our lives together so am delighted to have so much input but back to my thoughts on the general lack of interest in Irish Grooms 2 be - Realistically some men - and as a man I am not knocking my fellow men as I too at times can loose interest but are just not interested in the finicky bits and pieces and lead up to a decision and one thing I want to put out there is as follows - I do think that it is the way men are brought up in relation to weddings - from a very young age all we here about is "the Brides Big Day" wether it's a sister or a cousin - "oh wait until she's getting married she'll be a princess", you even hear of things like - "she has being planning this since she was a child" and don't get me wrong I am not against this but if I am explaining myself correctly as we lads grow up and even as adult males we are bombarded through media/films and indeed the heavily female orientated wedding industry that it is really all about the Bride (too right I hear you say) which again I am fine with - so with all these messages from a very young age that weddings are just about the bride it's no wonder some fellas may feel somewhat alien from this world and take a huge step back and some who may have an interest just wouldn't want to press anything or put forward their own ideas incase they were stepping over the line or taking away from something that they have been told is "The Brides Day" I don't know what you think of this but it is just something to think about and maybe a little push or asking for help may surprise you - us men like getting jobs and often getting them completed to the best of our ability and we are (I think) generally better at things like haggling so why not give your grooms some jobs even small one's just so as he knows he is involved and can approach you with ideas/thoughts without stepping on your toes! And then on the flip side there is just some lads out there who are just not interested in these things and are happy enough to turn up but then this gives you ample opportunity to have it all your way so win win?? Hope above reads correctly and not knocking anyone it's just my thoughts!

H2B is definitely a better haggler than me! I'm rubbish, maybe that's why I love Ebay!!!