mrs2be.ie

[sam-4-bob]

Ladies help - this is not my week!! ok so my sister and 3 cousins (we are all very close) are going to be my bms. Now one of my cousins is starting to get on my nerves. She is 18 and has a bf for last 2 years. My brother is one of the bestmen, and I have been TOLD that she will not dance or be paired with anybody other than my brother (her cousin) , now originally she was going to be paired with him, but h2b has changed the line up of his bestmen so she is now paired with someone else.

Today I got a warning off my aunt to tell me that my cousin wont dance with anybody other than my bro and to make sure its him she is paired with I was in there house today to let them know we are going dress shopping on the 30th , and my sister is home for a week and my shifts in work suit, to which I was told she "might be around or she might be doing something with Paul" . I am giving two weeks notice, she doesnt work, he doesnt work, so I assume they can hold off driving around the town for two hours to come try on dresses.

Im soooo pissed off, am regretting picking her !!!! What do I do ??? H2B said that if she refuses to dance with the bestman she is paired with and wont come shopping to kick her out ....but i dont want to start a family row!!!

[mrsshaunryan]

that's really annoying! You're giving her two weeks notice like! It's a hard one because it could start a family row but it's your day and you need someone who is going to make an effort and go to the fittings. I only have one sister and shes my only BM because shes the only person who I KNEW I could rely on completely.

[Mrs Brideog]

Why don't you tell her what your h2b is saying? Would that shock her into having some cop on, do you think?

Or you could sit her down, tell her how important it was to do it at the time you mentioned (cos of your sis being home and your shifts) and say to her about not having being constrained by workshifts and if her days are 'free' in the way they are, then she should be able to find a couple of hours to do shopping with you.

[Mallow]

To be honest hun she is 18, she hasn't a clue about weddings and how important they are or what's entailed in being a bm, I know I wouldn't have if I was 18. She's immature and prob all loved up with Paul. Plus until you plan a wedding or even get a bit older she's prob thinking you have loads of time to get the dresses and not thinking or understanding that you need/want to get these things sorted. If I were you I would take her for a coffee and explain it to her, say you don't want a row, but that she has to understand that being bm means that she will have to make herself available for certain things, without Paul, and that you are only telling her this now so she understands and ye don't end up in an argument over it nearer the time. Tell her the being paired thing is ridiculous as it's for about 6 minutes in total - walking down the aisle and one dance so your forewarning her now that you won't be dictated to. Take her by herself NOW because otherwise you'll end up with probs on your hands in the future, I think maybe with your aunt too by the sounds of it, so saying it now means she either bucks up/doesn't buck up but can't say she wasn't warned/or bows out which leaves you loads of time to sort something out.

[hugbear]

Shes a typical 18 year old.. let her off, if you have to go without her then do! She needs to know that the world doesnt revolve around her.

[lamb]

Go with your other bms and if ye find the dresses ye want well then get them,your other bm will just have to wear it, she had a choice to go with you but didnt take it AND its YOUR wedding it should be about YOU.......