mrs2be.ie

[tandybo]

Hi girlies,
Just wondering is it normal for your HTB to not show too much interest in the wedding? Our's isnt till 2013 and I know he is worried about money but its kinda gettin disheartenin that he isnt showing the same interest as me, actually showing sweet F all !!!!!!!
When I do ask him about his lack of interest he says 'of course he wants too and loves me bla bla and its just money worries' but I still cant help but worry

[Lainseybainsey]

I think they all go through this sort of thing. Mine showed very little interest in it at the start too, but i gave him a job....to sort out the band, and after two weeks of him researching he finally found one and we booked. he said after that he really appreciated how much hard work goes into it ("the whole wedding thing" as he put it) I don't know how far along guys are in the planning stage but you have plenty of time to organise it. MAybe sit down and talk about things, do up a provisional budget....it might help him to get his head round the cost so you can start saving towards it and set some goals.
HTH

[tandybo]

Thanks a mill LainseyBainsey, its just good to hear that somebody else experienced it too....all my BFF's husbands nearly done it all so they cant understand why mine is draggin his heels

[bingowings]

Tandybo you are definitely not alone. Most men NOT ALL mind but most just don't get the whole wedding thing. It's not that they don't love us or don't want to marry us they just haven't dreamed of getting married like us missies do. When it comes closer to the time give him a few jobs to do and ask his opinion on a few things. The budget is a good idea too. I was kind of delusional in that regard and only did my final budget recently with only about 4 months to go!!! I preferred not knowing how much things were costing!! Don't expect too much from your h2b when it comes to being excited about the wedding. The wedding gene is something they just aren't born with!!!! Enjoy the planning yourself and get your bridesmaids and friends involved. I'm not saying let him off the hook entirely he still needs to pull his weight and he probably will closer to the time and really enjoy the day too.

He'll probably cry like a baby when he sees you walking up the aisle!!!!

If you're worried about cold feet just get him a warm pair of socks. He'll be grand!

[TanyaBranning]

We booked our wedding exactly 2 years in advance, my h2b played the game, listening and saying yes and no in the right places. But I can honestly say he didn't get as excited as me in the early days. In fact he didn't get excited til about 2 months when we hit the 3/4 month mark. It's not cold feet, don't worry, men just don't do excitement that far in advance

[waterplily]

It's true. They just can't get excited about it this far ahead. It's very disappointing! H2b was driving me mad because all he was saying was "We have loads of time!!", "Why are you on about that already" etc. However, when it came to go shopping for an engagement ring he was great at it. He really wanted to see me pick something and he was really happy when we did last week. So, don't fret. Get excited and begin thinking about stuff. Make loads of notes with all your ideas. Then every now and again (because it's early days) have a conversation where you can get info from him about the kind of wedding he's imagining etc. It'll help when you have to decide on a budget eg wedding abroad vs wedding at home. Things like that make a difference. Enjoy!! We'll always share your excitement here

[awhiletogo]

I'm 2013 bride as well tandybo, and my H2B is the same, kind of gets interested on and off! He'll go with it for a bit but then he gets bored of it again! When we got engaged last christmas he was all into it, but it has declined now! Say, we went to a few wedding fairs earlier in the year, and he was interested enough for first couple, but then he said i'd prob enjoy it more myself! (So i went myself, and i did enjoy it more, cos i wasn't been dragged away from the fashion shows!!) We only ended up seeing 1 band out of 3 i had wanted to see cos he didn't want to go! The only things he really was interested in was the wedding cars and the hotels (food and cars......)
So def don't worry. i think it's very normal, and i agree with other girls, when it gets to about 3 months left and it starts feeling close, the interest will increase! Most men are like that about everything really, i think, "sure there's loads of time" about everything until it's on top of you!

[tandybo]

Oh awhiletog....are you sure your not dating my fiancee haha, they are sooooooooo alike. Thank God for Mrs2be and all of ye are I would crack up

[future mrs b]

i think its normal, im 2013 too and i have phases when i get excited and then a lull where i loose interest, my h2b has been a great help tho from day one he did alot of the ringing and booking and only this morning was on the phone to organise videogropher, i like to make sure he knows that his opinion is important tho, if i have an idea i always ask him what he thinks so he knows he does have some control over everything, maybe ask his advice or show him something you;re thinking of and and that u need his opinion cos ur not sure, our friends got married recently and the bride got so stressed out he dosnt want any of that for me he wants me to enjoy the whole planning stage cos u only get to do it once, maybe give him some specific things to do, i know my h2b really enjoyed picking out the cars and the band, then happy enough to leave the flower arrangments to me its a good way to get him interested tho

[MrsMcGovern]

I think it's just a guy thing really! My h2b has no real interest in organising it! I asked him to find a car and he did but thats it. Everything else is "you've got better taste than me, so whatever makes you happy is good with me". Really frustrating but I know he wants to get married and would rather just turn up in his suit (as long as I pick it....) on the day and enjoy it!
Don't worry about it, maybe ask him to organise or just research something that he's interested in? Good luck!

[NineTails20]

My H2B is exactly the same; we're getting married in October 2013. I'm the one who's looking at hotels, dresses, florists, and I feel like he really doesn't give a crap!

I think it's a man thing. Hopefully once the wedding gets closer, he'll show more interest. My H2B is in charge of the budget, because he's better with money than I am.

[sam-4-bob]

I had this with my H2B . When we talked about it he said he thought it was too early to start all the planning and there was plenty of time (This was last January).But once we went to view venues, church etc he realised how early you have to book things to get ur date, and once we made a comprehensive list he was shocked at how much there is to organise/buy etc. Now in fairness I am the one who does most of the researching etc but I always ask his opinion. When it came to things like the bm dresses he had no interest except money wise, but for invites/band/prayers etc he gives his opinion -aslong as I dont ask when sport is on

[MrsTK2B]

Like the girls said, most men find it hard to get excited about wedding stuff. Your H2B might be more into it as it gets nearer the time. My H2B has been very involved in everything but I think he is the exception. And we only got engaged in August and are getting married in May so its easier to get excited and sort stuff out when its only 8 months. If we were engaged for 2 years I think I'd get totally bored with wedding planning myself! I understand why people have long engagements - to save money, get the right venue etc but I wouldn't have the patience.

[annersok]

Hi my H2B was exactly the same, we original were going to get married in May 2013 and i got the usual its so far ahead why are you worrying about that ". or "relax"!! If i heard it one more time i thought i would hit the roof. I think for him 2013 was just so far away. I was saying it to my bridesmaid about how i was so excited but was so long and she said sure why don't you do it next year so guess what we booked our wedding for 27th June 2012. Now not that my H2Be has gone and completely changed his attitude but now that its 7 months away he is definately more interested. What i do is come up with about 3 options and then we get together and talk about which ones. So far we have the Venue, Band, Cake, Ceremony music. He even drove the other day to look at wedding invties with me (which shocked and awed me). They are funny these men you think they aren't interested but when there is a decision to be made they get right into it and have their own opinions. We are trying to work within a budget but of course he loved the most expensive invites, venue etc but as long as he likes them am happy to go ahead with them!! Hope it helps but i reckon give him a bit more time when he realises its closer and he will be into it!

[IDoBelieveInFairys]

When we were at the 22month mark it was the exact same, personaly I didn't care as I expected to be planning it all myself, but as the months have trickeld away he is begining to get more involved, actually asking me what's to be done and the likes.
I think allthough it is their day too they just don't see the importance in the little details we do (not all of them though).

I would just give him some time and set him some little jobs.