mrs2be.ie

[sadlier86]

Hi
my dad was a problem drinker for as long as i remember. I have had both a brother and sister married now and he was impeccably behaved on both days for what reason i cannot tell you, it was certainly out of character!! I realise that every person is different and thi may not be the ase with your mam! However my dad passed away 2 years ago now (drink related) and now that I am getting married myself would do anything to have him there to walk me up the aisle! I do appreciate the dilemma you are in as many a family event passed where my dad was left at home but remeber you will only have one wedding day. I really dont mean to make light of your decision just wanted to share my experience, good luck and hope it all wrks out xx

[sadlier86]

Hi
my dad was a problem drinker for as long as i remember. I have had both a brother and sister married now and he was impeccably behaved on both days for what reason i cannot tell you, it was certainly out of character!! I realise that every person is different and thi may not be the ase with your mam! However my dad passed away 2 years ago now (drink related) and now that I am getting married myself would do anything to have him there to walk me up the aisle! I do appreciate the dilemma you are in as many a family event passed where my dad was left at home but remeber you will only have one wedding day. I really dont mean to make light of your decision just wanted to share my experience, good luck and hope it all wrks out xx

[sdengaged]

Well done on making such a difficult decision I know it can't be easy. I'm thinking of ya and hopin your mum gets a big wake up call x

[dreamhusband2b]

just wanted to say i know how hard a decision like that is,my mam is a recovering alcoholic shes off it the last 7 years thank god but i can totally understand ur decision.but u never know this MITE be her rock bottom but as u know its has to b her decision to get off the drink.i hope it all works out for u hun xx

[mrsmccormack2b]

Thanks so much everyone for all your messages of support, I really do appreciate them. I'll always hold out some hold that she makes it on the day but only time will tell!

Well done to all the missies loved ones who have made it through alcoholism & are on the other side of it, I'm sure it's not been easy for them!!

Sadlier86, so sorry to hear your Dad passed & in such a way it must have been awful for you & your family. I'm sure he'll be looking down on you proudly on the day XXX

[fionab1385]

I really admire your strength and I really hope this will be a major wake up call for your mum. My Dad is going to be 30 years sober next month and I am so proud of him. He still feels so much guilt over things he did when he was pissed when i was a kid but I keep telling him life could have turned out so differently if he didn't get help and sort himself out. I really pray for your mum that she will do the same xxx

[mrsmccormack2b]

I really admire your strength and I really hope this will be a major wake up call for your mum. My Dad is going to be 30 years sober next month and I am so proud of him. He still feels so much guilt over things he did when he was pissed when i was a kid but I keep telling him life could have turned out so differently if he didn't get help and sort himself out. I really pray for your mum that she will do the same xxx

Thanks hun, big congrats to your Dad xxx

[ravenrabbit]

Hi hun,

I really admire you I think it takes guts & unbelievable strenght to make that decision & think it is the right one also!!! I know that does not make any easier. can't begin to understand what you are going thru but admire you so much.
Me & hb2 come from broken families since we were young & its a tough way to grow up!!! both our fathers are remarried with kids & it is very hard n tough way to live, there is always drama ^ we feel torn between both sides & trying to please all without hurting our mams feelings
we were determend to get married here & not run away in get married ourselves alone, which would be what they want, no fuss My parents will be civil for my sake but hb2 mother will not even be in the same room as her x hb. We have 3 kids together & between xmas, bdays & christening & special occassions they are a nightmare because of the situation, would not wish it for anyone, made to feel guilty for just speaking to ur own father, hate it!!! it makes it so hard n diffcult for everyone! she will not attend the wedding unless we have promised for her x not to be there, its just messy & not nice. story is too long but there will be so many people in one room that don't talk to each other but just gonna ignore it & have our day!!! nowhere near as hard as yours but jst wanna to share n I hope you get the day u dreamed of. u deserve it!!! pm me if you ever need to talk!!

[kinglo]

Hi mrsmccormack2b,
When I was reading your post,It's like you're telling my story, only my problem is my dad. My mam passed away 2 years ago and I'm left with an alcoholic father who doesn't give a toss about anyone other than himself when he's drunk (which is a lot of the time) but when he's sober he's a completely different man. He has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember.

Unfortunately as he spends more time drunk than sober lately, I'm struggling with what to do about my day. We've had the discussion already and agreed he can be part of our day but he wont be giving me away or sitting at the top table and he said he would prefer to wear his own suit instead of a "monkey suit" so this is all fine but his drinking is just getting worse and worse, so much so that his father passed away last week and he didn't even attend the funeral, instead he went drinking so the rest of the day was spent with us worry that he was going to show up off his face drunk cos he's liable to do anything in this state.

At this stage, I think i'm still hoping he will come to his senses & be good for just 1 day but I don't trust him to do it so I have to make the decision to either bite the bullet and uninvite him or just spend the day worrying he will mortify himself and me & my new hubby!

I applaud you for your courageous decision and I know all too well how unbearably difficult it is to come to this decision so stay strong, keep focussing on whats right for you on your big day and you can get through it.....Now all I have to do is the same thing. Big hugs for you!