mrs2be.ie

[brideog12]

Hi girls,
I'm just wondering if theres any other brides2be out there who are really stressed and nervous about the whole wedding thing? I feel awful even saying this, but I'm not looking forward to my wedding day at all, in fact i'm dreading it. The thoughts of having loads of people around and being the bride is totally freaking me out. I can't sleep and have been so emotional lately that i can't even think about the wedding without crying.
I never wanted to do the traditional hotel wedding thing, but this is what my H2b wanted, so i compromised because it was important to him to have all his family and friends around and feels the day wouldn't be special enough without a celebratration.
I originally wanted to have a very small afair with just immediate family. I don't have many friends, and am not close with any extended family. We won't be having a huge wedding, but its looking like around 90-100, which to me feels massive. Aside from my parents, siblings and granny, there isnt really anyone else that i feel i really need to be there.I feel I'm going through the motions , but I don't know if its what I really want.
I've spoken to my H2b about this loads. He thinks its just nerves, and that i will be fine on the day and enjoy it. He says i'll reget it if we don't 'mark the day' properly. It is true that I'm a very nervous person and I worry about everything. Even if I have to go out with H2b's mates and their girlfriends, I freak out all week. So the idea of having this wedding is sending me into total panic.
I don't know what to do. If i think about calling a halt to the plans, I feel relieved, but then this is replaced with guilt, as i know H2b will be devestated. He is really looking forward to it and has no nerves whatsoever.
Also, what if it just nerves, and I end up regretting my decision and missing out on a great day. I have days where I just say to mysef 'I'll be grand", but others when I feel i really can't do this.
So sorry for the long post.
If anyone has any advice i'd love to hear it.
thanks a mill

[Mrs H 2013]

Hi girls,
I'm just wondering if theres any other brides2be out there who are really stressed and nervous about the whole wedding thing? I feel awful even saying this, but I'm not looking forward to my wedding day at all, in fact i'm dreading it. The thoughts of having loads of people around and being the bride is totally freaking me out. I can't sleep and have been so emotional lately that i can't even think about the wedding without crying.
I never wanted to do the traditional hotel wedding thing, but this is what my H2b wanted, so i compromised because it was important to him to have all his family and friends around and feels the day wouldn't be special enough without a celebratration.
I originally wanted to have a very small afair with just immediate family. I don't have many friends, and am not close with any extended family. We won't be having a huge wedding, but its looking like around 90-100, which to me feels massive. Aside from my parents, siblings and granny, there isnt really anyone else that i feel i really need to be there.I feel I'm going through the motions , but I don't know if its what I really want.
I've spoken to my H2b about this loads. He thinks its just nerves, and that i will be fine on the day and enjoy it. He says i'll reget it if we don't 'mark the day' properly. It is true that I'm a very nervous person and I worry about everything. Even if I have to go out with H2b's mates and their girlfriends, I freak out all week. So the idea of having this wedding is sending me into total panic.
I don't know what to do. If i think about calling a halt to the plans, I feel relieved, but then this is replaced with guilt, as i know H2b will be devestated. He is really looking forward to it and has no nerves whatsoever.
Also, what if it just nerves, and I end up regretting my decision and missing out on a great day. I have days where I just say to mysef 'I'll be grand", but others when I feel i really can't do this.
So sorry for the long post.
If anyone has any advice i'd love to hear it.
thanks a mill

First of all nerves are naturel so don't worry about having them Have you sat down and actually told him all your fears about the day ? It is a day for both of you and you need to make sure your comfortable with what is going on . Would he compromise on the numbers maybe ? Less people might make it easier for you ? He would hate to think your this stressed out about it ..... what type of wedding did you want ?

[brideog12]

i just wanted a really small wedding and dinner in a really nice hotel and a few drinks. H2b not on for this at all. he wants his extrended family and 'the lads'. I'm freaking out over the thoughts of having people looking at me.i've tried talking to him so many times. he listens to me, and has so much patience with me. But he thinks its nerves, so isn't really accepting that i don't want it. He says he wants everyone to see us getting married cos he's so proud and excited etc. He is much more of a people person than me, and is totally laid back about the whole thing. I want to run away and not face anyone. i hate feeling like this. both sets of parents are so excited and we've already asked the bm's and groomsmen to be part of the wedding so i feel like i'd be letting so many people down.
Part of me thnks that H2b is right and at i'm letting my nerves get the better of me. But at the same time, I do't think it normal to not be looking forward to the day at all.
The way i see it, one of us is going to be unhappy no matter decision we come to. We can't really cut any numbers as its already just relations and close friends.

[letmeeatcake]

I really do feel your pain. My h2b is exactly the same as you. I know he feels sick about the whole thing as well. If I try to make him dance at a a wedding, he breaks into a cold sweat. He is absolutely dreading it. I suggested we go abroad and have a small wedding with just immediate family there, but he said he wanted the church thing. He knows I have a lot of close friends and a large family, and he wanted to have a day to remember for me, which is nice.

So what we are doing is little things, like going out in big groups more often to get him used to the feeling for on the day. I might tell stories or do something else that will focus attention on me, just so he can be near me at the time and get used to people looking in his direction for long periods (people think I am nuts anyway!). Also I get him tipsy (for a bit of confidence) when we go out and at 1:30am when everybody else is plastered, I will get him to dance with me in a corner so he is less afraid of it. Today we went to order suits together as he wouldn't do it on his own, but I let him do all of the talking and just stayed in the background, ready with the credit card! Small things help, and I think if you build up to it, you will manage the day better. Also bring a hip flask with some whiskey for Dutch courage!

[hugbear]

If your really dreading it then stop where you are now and have the wedding you want!!! it could just be wedding nerves but dont put a load of money into something you dont want.

[Jackyl]

Sounds like a similar story to my own Brideog. What about a compromise, say having an intimate church ceremony with close family & friends and then meet everyone at the hotel for the reception? This is what I am hoping to do as I am so anxious about the church, I was never one for being the centre of attention.

[wuzzles]

This may seem really really out there but how about enquiring about Hypnosis to help with your nerves about the day??