mrs2be.ie

[betteroffwed]

Me and my df have booked our church, our reception and band paid deposits etc. were together 8 1/2 years before we got engaged and are so so so so excited about it all. now we were never gonna have a big massive ott wedding cause i work part time and we are trying to keep it small. so we booked the wedding on sunday was off monday and back to work tuesday, where they told me that after christmas, they wont be needing me anymore. to say i was gutted would be an understatement. im just so angry and upset. we had just booked the wedding .... sorry, im prob putting a big downer on ye.. but upsetneeded to vent. df says we'll manage just fine and hes probably right. i just cant help but worry.. i never thought it would happen. sorry for being a whinge.. on the upside ive already applied for 4 jobs... so fingers crossed.

[sweetcheeks]

first and foremost ....
you poor divil ... its supposed too be a happy time for you both but then again who needs a big day aslong as you have the people around you that love you most and you love back who else matters .. im so sorry too hear this, i know its hard and everything now but keep your chin up anyway and we will all keep our fingers crossed for the few jobs you have applied for ..

[DonnaMcD]

ah pet sorry to hear that but its not the end of the world things cud be so much worse and your fiance doesnt seem to be too worried so dont panic. keep planning and at the end of the day you and the love of your life will be married and ready to spend the rest of your life together even if the 2 of ye are the only people there thats all that matters so chin up pet and enjoy ur planning. u only get married once (If your lucky) so cherish every minute of it... did you say when you are getting married?? xxxxx

[DonnaMcD]

oh and welcome to the site girls dont think iv been chatting to ye yet. yel get some valuable info on this site and make some great friends along the way xxxxxxx

[alternativemrs2b]

Big hug to you hun Fingers and toes crossed for you with your job applications Remember the day is about you and h2b, that is the most important thing. Sorry you are having a crappy time at the min

[Piratefairy87]

I know exactly how you feel! We got engaged in June and set a date quickly after that and started booking things, paying deposits etc. Everything was so exciting, but then i lost my job! I was so upset, literally i was given two days notice. I wanted to cry, get angry and scream all at the same time. All i could think off was how are we going to pay for the wedding! I couldnt sleep at night i was so worried about everything. My boyfriend (cant get used to that fianceé word, haha) kept telling me everything would be ok and not to worry but i couldnt stop myself from thinking of costs and everything, its like i was constantly calculating things in my head. Anyway i applied for every job i saw, waitressing, office work, you name it! And finally it paid off and i started a new job 2 weeks ago! Now i can stop stressing so much, for now anyway! So chin up lady and fingers crossed you will get a job soon. I know its not easy to try and not stress about it but just keep applying for jobs and i really hope you find something soon!

[betteroffwed]

thanks for your replies ladies. im getting married in may 2013 DonnaMcD. i need to cop on and stop feeling sorry for myself. there are worse things that can happen (as i have read in other posts on here). but its great to have your support. any money saver advice is very welcome thanks for that too piratefairy, gives me such hope. ive applied for a few so i will keep everything crossed that something will come up..

[Mrs Brideog]

Well, you're not putting a downer on me missy cos my wedding is over.

I had a big ott wedding and I can tell you that I didn't really enjoy it that much. I mean, it was grand. My MIL was a complete bitch to me for 3 weeks before the wedding and has only acknowledged me once since (and that was about 2 weeks ago). That put a dampner on the whole thing. And all the effort I went into picking table names, personalising them, chosing the right invitations and BM dresses, inviting half the world, the personalised place cards, none of it mattered. Honest to God, it is not all it is cracked up to be. As long as you have a loving family and the people who are important to you and hubby (no matter how few) are happy for you, then that's all that matters. At the end of the day, all you need is you, your h2b, a priest (or equivalent) and two witnesses to get married. I have to say that I've enjoyed some of the normal days of my marriage so much more than my wedding day.

I can honestly say that if I was to do it again, I would have only immediate family there and I would make it intimate and only invite the people who genuinely cared about mine and hubby's happiness.

There is so much pressure to do a big wedding and to invite all the neighbours you don't know and cousins you never see, that you can be quick to realise that your 'dream wedding', very often doesn't get to be YOUR dream wedding at all! Everyone has an opinion and when they try and force it on you and you resist being bullied into things, do you know what that makes you?? Bridezilla, that's what!

My MIL had me tormented so much that it ruined all the planning and organisation I did. She went out of her way to make things as awkward in me as possible. I spent around €20k, on a single day, that I didn't really enjoy, that I don't like to think about, that has ruined family relations and has all my in-laws hating me for upsetting the head of the mafia (aka my MIL). Two of my hubby's own brothers disowned him and I know I'm biased, but my hubby is one of the kindest, laid back people on this earth.

There were also lots of strangers there, neighbours of my MIL, who I don't think even knew my name and we then slagging me off on FB with my MIL after the wedding. All because I dared tell her that no, she can not write out the invites herself and that she shouldn't go inviting people to our wedding without telling us and then lying about it to cover it up. When I said, in my defence, that I did not want to be upset on my wedding day (because the particular individual she wanted to invite made me feel very uncomfortable), she called me 'self-centred', then I got banned from the house when I wanted to go down to sort it out with my hubby. The list goes on...

Sorry for the rant here, my point is, we all romanticise the big ott wedding and because we want it to be so perfect, it can easily get ruined. Having something smaller, more intimate ensures that only people who really care about you get to share it with you. There is no fun in having half the neighbourhood at your weeding, if the right sentiment isn't there. I had idealised a big ott wedding and on my family and friends part, none of them let me down, but you can't control other people sometimes. Your wedding should be about your love for your h2b and as long as that love is there, it won't matter that you couldn't buy the fancy placecards, favours, cars, veil, etc. That material stuff really doesn't matter at all. It's only just frills.

Anyway, I don't know if I helped at all, but I hope I've made you feel better. I meant every word I said above. Try and stay positive about having a smaller wedding, it could be a blessing in disguise...and best of luck with the job hunt You will have a great wedding if you just remember that all long as your h2b wants to marry you, and he loves you to bits, that's all that matters.

[betteroffwed]

Thank you mrsbrideog. Im sorry if i offended anyone by saying ott by the way. i only just meant like a big wedding. if i could afford ott i would prob go ott.
But i see your point. we are planning on a smallish wedding (both big families-so small to us maybe medium to everyone else lol) but i see what you mean. all that matters is were happy and in love healthy and have our families there. thanks again for your replies. xxx

[Mrs Brideog]

Not at all, I don't think anyone would be offended by that.

You will have a great day with your families there. If you are looking for ways to save money, I would suggest you pm Muckypup! She is the queen of DIY and knows how to get a bragain. But, don't pm her this week as she's getting married! After her wedding, I'd say she'll be looking for another project so definitely drill her for info, she's the best for advice!

[Skittles]

Fingers crossed for you hun.

[Mrs H 2013]

Aww Big Hug !!! You have loads of time and trust me everything will work out for the best ... if all came to all Invite all you want to the church and have a lovely family and close friends for the meal The getting married part is the most important

Mrsbrideog , i feel so sorry for you , my dads family disowned him and my mam over something stupid and trivial and if you met my dad he love his family There is no pleasing some people and as hard as it sounds you need to enjoy your marraige and sounds like you have a loving husband it will all work out for the best

[BluefishJD]

Herecomesthebride I do feel for you but just remember like most other's above have said it's about you and your hubby and think that's what matters most and yes something like losing a job can put a huge burden on your shoulders but shake it off this can still be a happy time for both of you and keep in mind what's most important to you both. Were having a small wedding both by choice and neccessity - having a mortgage, a car loan etc etc gives perspective and yes everyone wants to have that fantastic day but life goes on and we want to have a life after not having to worry about money/debts that one Big Day could incur - be sensible, get creative, have family and friends help and your day can still have that fairytale feel with some DIY Wedding Planning - I'm sure you will have a great wedding and all the best for it and your future lives together - I'd also like to wish you the very best in your job search and am sure something will come along - just be positive.

MrsBridgeog I would just like to commend your honesty - so many fall to the pressure of having that big day but ends up with so many unwanted outside influences and your post has been a breath of fresh air (and reality) for reasons of our own we always wanted a small intimate wedding in most cases just different from a regular TRaditional Irish wedding - One thing you mention in particular is I don't like this culture of inviting every tom, dick and harry and their pet cat to something that is to be such a special time and should be shared with only those you love and are there for you - I am sorry that you didn't have a great experience on your wedding day and think the way you are being treated by your in-laws is uncalled for but you have married the man you love not his family and if they are not going to be happy for ye will then stuff them! Wishing you all the happiness in your new Married life together.

[excited2013]

that is awful.....but at least you are being proactive & have already applied for jobs. Best of luck with them!!!
Hope you have a wonderful, special day & try not to let this put a dampner on it

[feb2012]

you poor thing. I understand were you are coming from cause I was let go from my job and then luckly found one within three months after days of sending through CV's .
There are jobs out there, just keep looking and dont let it effect the planning of the wedding.
Everything will fall into place.