mrs2be.ie

[TanyaBranning]

One of my BM's lives in another county, 2 hours away. She is ignoring all communications, even more so lately, and my wedding is weeks away. My hairdresser asked me to supply pictures off the net of what the BMs want. She's attending my wedding and will need to just do our hair and go on the day. If she wasn't attending she'd have hours to spare, but she is going so hasn't. If they choose what they want, give me a photo then she can be ready to roll on the day. I've been trying to pin this certain BM down on a hairstyle for the past 3 weeks. Today I mailed her again and said I must have all the wrong contact details for her as I never get an answer and must be talking to some stranger in cyber space. She replied saying 'Hairstyle? Don't care.' Not what I was expecting and I actually think it's verging on rude.

Her dress needs to be altered, and she's been obsessively asking me for months now "Are you altering my dress? It doesn't fit". As if I'd let them out as my BMs with ill fitting dresses Because she lives away I'm trying to get her to the dressmaker the next time she's home. Due to the time of year my dressmaker will be very busy, and has asked that I give her plenty time to have this done and not land it on her the week before. She's named 2 weekends she will be home before the wedding, the second is far too near, so I've asked her is the first one okay? And guess what?? She started ignoring me again, this was first thing this morning!!!! I've used this emoticon because I am very mad.....lol

How she looks on the day reflects on me, and if she wasn't going to be in my wedding album/dvd for all eternity, I'd have a good mind to leave her walk up the aisle in a dress that's way too big, she deserves it!!!!!

[TanyaBranning]

Thanks Munster Maid. If I was confrontational it probably wouldn't be happening but I let it all for a quiet life.

Anyway, if she can't be bothered to reply to me, I can't arrange anything for her. Not long to go til she is meant to see the dressmaker, and she won't be home after that will a week before the wedding. So she can go whistle, I've kept the e.mail and all where I asked her 'So is x date okay?''.

I am not too sure that she wants to be BM anymore, as things have been strained for a couple of months now. Wish she'd just say.

[MrsTK2B]

That's such a pity. The only thing I can suggest is trying to talk to her on the phone (if she answers!) and explain that it is important that she keep in contact with you. Maybe ask if she has changed her mind and would prefer not to be BM. Perhaps she has some problem in her life she hasn't told you about, though it doesn't really excuse her rudeness. If she is genuinely really busy could she get a local dressmaker near her to measure her and just give the measurements to your dressmaker to alter the dress? And could you just pick a hairstyle, email her the picture and say "this is what you are having unless you suggest something else by tomorrow"? If she wont co-operate with even this it might be time to think about firing her. I hope that her bad behavior doesn't cause you too much stress. Good luck.

[TanyaBranning]

MrsTK2B, thanks!

She's had her chance today. I've said can you please just pick a hairstyle, I need to know which one you want, you have to make a decision. And also said can you confirm X date is okay. They've gone ignored, and I am happy to leave things like that. She'll be getting an upstyle of my choice on the day.

I've never encountered rudeness like it in my life.

[IRockedTheFrock]

Hey, sorry about your rude BM. I had one like that too. Needless to say she is well outta the picture now. If I were you of sack her, I think u have the grounds to at this point. Your BMs are supposed to be your friends and help & support you. The fact that she said she doesn't care about the hair style says it all really.

Can I just ask why you titled this post 'Small BM'?

[TanyaBranning]

small rant! lol was it too big for your liking?

[IRockedTheFrock]

No sorry lol I thought it was something to do with her height and then I couldn't see what you meant cuz you didn't refer to her height in your post! Lol I get it now !

[TanyaBranning]

LOL

[fionab1385]

Oh that's a balls, sorry to hear you are having so much hassle! What is she like! Jesus i would be fit to kill her, you so don't need stress like that! Hopeuflly she gets her finger out and replies today.

[Littlemisscupcake]

I would be inclined to ask her if she wants to bridesmaid anymore. I know that seems a bit dramatic, but you don't want her going around on the morning of your wedding with a scowl on her face it will just stress you out.

[TanyaBranning]

It won't really MissCupcake. I've had drama from her for a while now. She's on my h2b's side, so she's more or less a stranger coming to my parents on home on the weddding day. She also created it all for herself. We will be welcoming and hospitable, but I'm not pandering to her that morning if she's going around with a face like a smacked arse, I'm sure somebody will have something to say about it.