mrs2be.ie

[Disney2012]

So I was just wondering what are your plans when it comes to the speeches?

I thought it would make for an interesting debate... What will you be doing and why....?

There is no right or wrong answer... I'm just undecided and think it will be interesting to see what everyone else is doing...

[Hailey]

I am having them before the meal, as i want everyone at the top table to enjoy there dinner, ive been to a wedding wher the best man actually got sick before the speech, he was starving 4 the night!!

[BluefishJD]

Great post - get's ya thinking:) Can I just add...check with your venue about this too, as sometimes they will dictate to when speeches are to be said due to food preparation, staff times etc etc -

this was the case with friends of ours who wanted the speeches before the meal but the venue said no they had to be done after - I think basically it was because of the food that was already pre-prep (which lets face it happens everywhere) and also the staff - as in some cases hotels hire in a team of staff (usual ran from a separate staff catering company hired for weddings large functions etc etc) for a certain set time - so say you are to sit for six then outside staff team is hired for a limit of 3 hours or so and then the hotel would have their own "skeleton" staff to take up after the meal - collecting glasses, cleaning up etc so I would advise checking with your venue before deciding and then being disappointed. -

We are still undecided but due to other things going on in the evening after the meal I may use the speeches (short n all as they will be ) as a "Time Delay" to make sure everything else is set to go... but we are very much in the mind set of keeping our guests happy and give them a great day aswell as us having a fantastic day so don't want them going too long with out some food inside them!! (We are also getting married late afternoon (I'd even prefer later than what we are allowed) to combat this swell so no waiting around or making it a long day for the guests) and as we are a very small bridal party (just one each, bridesmaid/bestman) I'd say the speeches will be short and sweet - just the way I like them hehehehe!

[MrsEL10]

We had ours after the meal

[puddy2shoes]

We are having ours before the meal. my h2b was best man at his brothers wedding and he was so nervous before speeches that he couldnt eat his dinner. everyone at the top table can relax for the meal.

[MrsEL10]

We thought about having ours before the meal for that very reason but then after being a guest at a wedding where they did the speeches before the meal and we were hungry and the speeches went on too long we weren't really listening to them we just wanted them to finish so we could eat dinner - so there is pros and cons to both i think

[taz30]

The most nervous at ours will be my H2B and I am an emotional wreck at the best of times so would prefer to say something short and sweet before I start into the wine!! For both of these reasons I am hoping to arrange that we will say a short speech each before teh meal and then the rest of the speeches will be after! The other speakers are not nervous sop they will be fine - it will split up the speeches so they wont be too long (my Dad will go on forever!) and my H2B will be able to enjoy his meal as well without worrying about it!! Thats the plan anyway!!!

[Princess13]

We are having ours after the starter as I know that himself and anyone giving a speech won't be able to enjoy their meal if the speeches are after the meal!

[BluefishJD]

(With MrsEl) this is going back to what I was saying kinda as well - if you are having a typical irish wedding it means church at 1pm so people would be going from 12.30 or around that time and then add on the time for speeches etc etc could be quite some time before people get some grub (I know they could "snack" between church and venue but i think alot of people are afraid to eat incase they don't eat their meal at the reception?!? So yes there is pros and cons and like that having them beforehand would let the top table relax which is fully understandable but I'd rather have happy "full" guests rather than hungry uninterested guests...

I have heard of a local wedding at which my grandmother attended where the speeches were before the meal and when i asked her about the wedding/the decor etc etc all she did was complain about not getting to the meal til after 7.30pm having being at the church for 12.30 earlier that day and that was the general consensus with her table (which was mixed couples) and I suppose I go back to one of our main things - providing a great day for us but also one for our guests - as we have animals...we call them the kids...a cat and a dog we would always go home between the church and the reception (if its local wedding) as we need to check on them and also to grab a quick bite which keeps us going until the meal and the fact that we really dislike that idea of going to a pub before the venue - personally if I have invited you to my wedding I don't want ya skipping off to some pub in the middle of it, bit rude I think but this my own opinion anyway as I was saying initially there is pros and cons to this and if there is anything I have learnt through this planning process is you have to go with your own decision and what is best and works for you and a case in point is taz30's post where they knew they would be bit nervous and only wanted to say a quick speech so they went before the meal and then let the others speak after...- sorry for mid rant! don't know where it came from hahaha but think you get the idea and obviously see what side of the fence I stand on hahaha - hope this is helpful to you and happy continued planning!

[Disney2012]

Humh I think I'm tending to lean towards speeches after the meal.. I too was at a wedding last year when speeches were before the meal and boy did they drag on... I was starving and couldn't wait for the speeches to be over, so I could eat! Yet I do understand wanting to get the speeches out of the way so the speakers can enjoy their dinner too... As you said bluefish I would rather the guests (majority) be happy and fed and ready to pay attention than b**ch about waiting for dinner!!

This is only my opinion thus far... Don't want to offend anyone... I guess it's just something to think about

[MrsTK2B]

Our venue insists speeches are after dinner so the choice was made for us. Otherwise I think I would have liked them before. I think our bestman will be really nervous and will not enjoy his dinner. H2B will be nervous but not too bad and if my father makes a speech he wont be nervous at all. We might have to get the bestman's dinner heated up when his speech is over!

[HappyMissus]

We had speeches before the meal so that the speakers could relax and enjoy their dinner.

We were concious though that people would be starving and that others might eat nothing because they'd be afraid of not eating their dinner then. We didn't want people to be hungry and distracted during the speeches.

So what we did was this:

In our information sheet with the details of the hotel and directions to the church etc, we put in a wee timeline of the day. We told our guests that speeches would be before the meal, that they'd be called into the room at XXpm and that dinner would be served at XXpm. We also told them that refreshments would be served at 3.30pm in the hotel so that they wouldn't be hungry.

We had tea/coffee, sandwiches, biscuits, chocolate strawberries and Ferrero Rocher at 3.30pm-4pm. Called into the room at 5.30pm and dinner served at 6.15pm. So hopefully nobody was TOO starving, having had a substantial snack at 4pm.

We found that letting the guests know what was going on, prevented any distraction, it prevented them being hungry because they knew there was food and knew it was ok to eat it because dinner wouldn't be until later.

It worked for us anyway!

[Soph11]

We are having our speeches before the meal, but we will have some canapaes and sandwhiches at the drinks reception.

[Skittles]

we had ours after the main course and before the desert.

[Littlemisscupcake]

We must have speeches after the meal. The venue insists. I would prefer them before so everyone could relax then.