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best man question

best man question

Unread postby Mistletoe12 » Mon Mar 12, 2012 3:47 pm

hey all,

hope you can help, i know this is going to sound awful, but its got to be asked... :oops:

so H2B is asking his little brother (ok 20yrs old) to be his best man....now give me a minute to explain, this fella is very, how do i say this without sounding like a cow, but he's very childish, not in the cute way...

he'll have these big tantrums like a young child and end up getting his way, when we got engaged his mother said he'd be best man....eh hello think its the brides and grooms choice...

stayed down with them last christmas - with the snow, and just felt ...well i asked H2B to not make him best man- i know an awfuly thing to do, but the job of the best man is to look after the groom and i just dont think he's capable of it...........now since that christmas i think he's a bit better, but i'm still unsure, so when H2B said he'd like him to be best man, well he's not really asked for much else with the wedding and at the end of the day its his brother.....

so here's the question, how to (H2B) let him know how important an ask and responsibilty it is...was thinking of doing up a little check list - just to give me an idea of what's involved and serious it is, H2B said he'd pass it on no problem....just want H2B to be looked after and not regret it afterwards....

hope he'll step up to the mark...any ideas on how i can do this would be greatly appreciated??? without insulting him

thanks
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Re: best man question

Unread postby Lorraine78 » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:03 pm

To be honest i left picking the best man up to my H2b,and he left bm's up to me.The only thing the best man has to do is look after the rings,our envelopes for paying suppliers on the day and to do a speech.If my H2b interfered on who i picked for my chief bm i wouldn't be impressed with him to be honest.At the end of the day he's your h2b's brother and you might open a can of worms in not going along with him....hope it works out for you either way.
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Re: best man question

Unread postby Mistletoe12 » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:05 pm

get where you coming from, and i agree, didnt tell him not too just said for him to really think about it, it is his decision at the end of the day and he has picked him....which is fine, just hope he doesnt let H2B down that's all
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Re: best man question

Unread postby Lorraine78 » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:13 pm

I completely understand where you're coming from,you're probably better off going with the flow on this one.Maybe have a chat with one of the groomsmen and ask him to help or keep control on the bestman without taking the title off him?
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Re: best man question

Unread postby Mistletoe12 » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:14 pm

hey lorraine, well we havent asked him yet to be best man, but ya i'm sure the other bros will look after it all...thanks

you're right....go with the flow
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Re: best man question

Unread postby mrs kelly to be » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:31 pm

Hi there,
I get what your saying about the best man not seeming to be the most reliable or best chioce.

My H2B chose his best friend from child hood who I get along fine with,we used to go out most weekends with him before we had our little boy...so no problems der.

When we got engaged and he heard we had set a date he was up fishing for info about who the best man would be. He's our little boys godfather so we though it was great him calling up so much.But since my H2B asked him in early October we have only seen him twice...one was our little boys birthday where he talked soley about the stag night (which is now changed completely as his new gf seems to be a bit of a bunny boiler) and the last time he called he didnt know the date or hotel the wedding was held.

So I understand your worries (although this BM is 27 same age as my H2B) but still I feel like listing his resposibilities and letting him know that simply organising the stag and showing up on the day is not enough.

Hope all goes well for you :hug2
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Re: best man question

Unread postby Sugarcup » Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:16 pm

I left it up to my h2b. He is having one of his brothers as head best man - although I would prefer his best friend as he is more responsible.The only thing our best man is doing is organising the stag. Im leaving the money with someone else on the day :)
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Re: best man question

Unread postby hella_patchella » Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:30 pm

H2B's brother is his BM. He is the most irresponsible, immature person I have ever met in my life. Needless to say, he would not have been my first choice for BM, but H2B wants an easy life with his mother so asked him anyway.

We have decided not to go down the road of traditional Best Man duties with him. I could not trust him with the money to pay suppliers so my mam is going to look after this. I also could not deal with him making a speech - he would make total fools of us. His idea of a speech is "rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub." Because of this we have decided that my sister, who is CBM is going to give the "best woman" speech! She knows us far better than he does and will do a far better job!

All that's left for him to do is organise the stag and he is already making a right mess of this. He has made it all about himself. I have had arguments with him because he is carrying on like it is his own stag rather than H2B's. He has invited at least 10 of his friends to go - that's more than H2B himself has going!!!
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Re: best man question

Unread postby Mistletoe12 » Tue Mar 13, 2012 8:55 am

update is...he's asked the bro a good few days ago, fogot to tell me....grrr but its ok think the bro has already been thinking about it, so fingers crossed it will be fine, another bro is organizing stag...so all happy :)
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