mrs2be.ie

[lala09]

Girls I dont even no where to start..
when I decided to plan my wedding I asked my 2 sisters & a life ling friend of mine to be BMS which at the beginning all were delighted but now Im between 2 minds my sister who is meant to be chief BM has no interest at all in dress shoppin or anything hasnt turn up on any occassion ive asked her to , to my dress shopping or their.. Its begining to cause arift between me & my mam bcoz I feel I shud just let her go & forget about her been BM... SOOO Confused any advice wud be great....

[bride2be2013]

omg thats terrible. Maybe sit down and talk to your sister and see if she still wants to be bm and just tell her if she does she needs to go dress shopping with you. if she has no interest at all your best to get rid of her being a bm.

[Amber]

So sorry to hear that lala09, what a nightmare especially when she is chief bridesmaid. I agree with Bride2be2013, sit her down and find out if she wants to be bridesmaid. There is a chance that maybe she doesn't want to be now that she know what it entails, in that case it would be best to get it out in the open and she would have the chance to step down. If she does want to be bridesmaid then she will have to give you all of the support you need, and that includes dress shopping.

[2bARNOTT2b]

i agree with the girls before me have said. u need to sit her down and talk things through its only gonna cause trouble in the long run.good luck!

[kcsmrs2b]

So sorry to hear that, must be a difficult situation for you, especially as she is your sister too. I agree with everyone else, try to talk it out with her and see what she has to say.
Would there be any reason why she would be reluctant to go dress shopping or does she show the same lack of enthusiasm with all aspects of the wedding?

[lala09]

Misses Thanks for all the advice ... I dont know what is wrong with her at all she has a Boyfriend who wants to keep her to himself & it next to impossible to get her away for a chat... My mother has spoken to her & told her that she shouldn ecpect to be BM after all the times she has let me down, but I actually feel bad about not having her bcoz she is my sister after all & we were close up until she met this fella... AHHHH my head is wrecked my H2B says ive enough to worry about so should just wipe my hands with her... But i think you are all right i may get her on her own & ask straight out & explain how i feel too....

Thanks again misses... This site has been so helpful with everything x x x

[mayb2b]

best of luck talking to your sis! I hope she pulls her socks up 4u.

[feb2012]

I did have the same problem but with my Cousin who is a bridesmaid. Has your sister been into this sort of stuff to start with. Maybe she is not into all the enjoyment that you think she should be. I ended up talking to my Cousins mam asking her what her problem was, as I would an e-mail and get nothing back for Days. As my aunty said I did know what she was like before I asked her. Since I have had this talk she replys to my texts straight away.. I understand that she is not into all this but I did make the decision to ask her. I cant turn back so have to just go along with it. At least my other to Bridesmaids are very helpful and showing enthusiasm.

I think you should talk with her and tell her how you feel and what you would like her to do. You will then get your answer

[TanyaBranning]

I had 3 BM's. BM 1 was fantastic from start to finish. BM 2 ran hot and cold. She was all interested one minute and couldn't care less the next. Once it came to my hen which was 8 weeks before the wedding, she realised what she was actually involved in, and how huge it was and from there on in, she was a star. BM 3 was my h2b's niece and I learnt a lot about her. She was putting up obstacles where there was no need to, just for the sake of it when it came to having her dress altered. And was deliberately awkward when it came to her hair and make up. She was rude to me, rude to the dress maker, rude to my family, the other BM's. I don't get on with my IL's at all, and I always got on with this girl, but obviously her family have got to her Even on the day she was haughty and distant and didn't say one word of thanks for all of her gifts and there were many!!!! On top of that she didn't bother to give a present or wish me well on the day, which is the least she could have done, congratulated me or told me I looked nice. Fcuk her anyway, I felt it! haha

I got a lot of advice on here saying to get rid, but I knew if I got rid at such short notice (there was 2 months to go) it would cause me more trouble than it was worth with a wedding coming up so I carried on with it. Told her if she couldn't make the times, then wear the dress as it is. And that I didn't mind what way she had her hair, didn't even mind if she didn't wash it. All said super nicely with a smile on my face. She wasn't long conforming....once she knew I wasn't going to pander to her. And the less it appeared to bother me, the less joy she was getting out of it.

My advice to you is, go along with your sister as it would cause a family feud and bad feelilng. But just depend on the BM that is being good. All you really need is one anyway.

[how_are_ya]

times 100!

Super advice!

Very difficult to axe any member of the wedding party especially a sister, at the end of it you will be the one looking bad as it would be seen as a very public "you're fired" act.

Take a few deep breaths and as above, as long as she arrives clean and sober on the day, that'll be enough. Its sucky that she's acting this way but unfortunately you can't control other peoples enthusiasm.

Forget about her going shopping, better to be there with people who are excited for you and can't wait to see you looking beautiful and radient in your dress!!!!!! Would be worse looking at her puss as she texts her boyf.

Bottom line, you will have an amazing time on your special day! Maybe the day would be as brilliant as it can be with your sis in an ill-fitting dress standing with you (snigger) than her giving you evils and bad voodoo vibes from the front row