mrs2be.ie

[cant_stop_smiling]

Hi everyone,

We're planning on getting married abroad with approx 40 guests, the thing is there are a lot of kids in H2Bs family (15 in total!!) That leaves 25 places. Then there is me, H2B, parents, brothers, sisters, 1 bridesmaid and bestman and their partners. (another 22 people) So we have only another 3 guests left to ask. I'm mad about H2Bs nieces and nephews but I feel there is no room left for any of our good friends to come to our wedding. Both our best friends are coming ( bridesmaid/bestman) and we both have a close circle of friends which we would love to invite too.

Money will be fairly tight so we really cant afford to expand the guest list too much and we're planning a small wedding party when we come home for cousins, aunts and uncles etc. I think that I will look very bad if I suggest that the kids stay at home and just come to the party at home. I feel so guilty and selfish at the moment and I don't know what to do! I would love my closest and oldest friends to be at the wedding but I don't want any aggro over excluding the kids! Please help! What would you do in my situation?

[im married]

is your venu gonna charge full price for the children??? if you could get them down would that help with your budget?

im not saying you have to invite them, hun its ye're day so do what ever makes ye happy.

[mrsmtobe]

we went through this one too hun and the only option we could come up with is strictly no children, there is nothing selfish about it, its a personal choice and the only kids at our wedding will be our own who are all over 7yrs of age, otherwise we would be able to invite nobody as there are 17 kids on my side of the family and about 10 on h2be so no way, talk to h2be and let him know how you feel, we are getting married in Eire but i would still have the same attitude no matter where we got married, this is YOUR day not the kids or other family members day, do what feels right for you, hope it all works out, i feel your pain and i know there were prob bitchy comments when we said no kids but i dont care this is our wedding day and i am happy i did it....

[MrsM10]

I totally understand where you are coming from but I think it's very hard to ask people to come to a wedding abroad and not bring their kids. It is very different than asking them to leave them at home for a day and/or night! I know my family and h2b's brother would not have anyone to take the kids for any length of time like that and therefore it would be either take the kids or stay at home. I just could not put them in that position and would have to include the kids in my budget.

As im married said, can you not get kids meals for the kids and cut down on the cost? How many more friends are you talking about including? You might be able to haggle on the price per head with the hotel if you increase your numbers. Between that and the kids meals then it might not be too much extra.

[cant_stop_smiling]

Thanks for the replies girls, still confused though! Ideally I would prefer no kids, all the kids are quite young (eldest will be 8) and very lively, (afraid it'll be like a kids party and the parents will prob go to bed early too) but I know its hard to expect their parents to go away for 3 days without them. I would love to just keep the number around 40, there's a group of 12 - 14 friends that we would love to invite but we just don't have the room or the money for them!

[roma2011]

Could your venue work out something with you for the kids? Our venue is flexible enough on this to try and encourage full price adults to go to the wedding, they know a lot of adults won't go if the kids are too pricey. Kids up to a certain age stay and eat free and others up to another cut off point are half price. As long as they aren't all teenagers you might be able to get something similar with your venue? Otherwise I'd just go strictly no kids or just have the kids that are under a certain age there. We had a simlar dilemma and I tried my best to go strictly no kids but failed miserably. In the end we invited three from each house. There were still some noses out of joint but you can't please everyone!