What A Girl (And Her Groom) Wants

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How to tell your guests about your wedding list, and how to ask for money instead of gifts.

giving cash as wedding present

Did you know that according to traditional etiquette, giving gifts at a wedding is completely optional?  Of course most, if not all, of your guests will usually give you something and they’ll want to celebrate the start of your new life together by giving you both something you really want.

But in this day and age, when couples tend to live together for a while before getting married, many of us have well-furnished homes and may not need the traditional wedding gifts of toasters, wine glasses or picture frames.  In this case, a couple might be tempted to ask for cash instead of gifts. On the other hand, some couples might be keen to set up a wedding list with one of Ireland’s major department stores.  This can help you to upgrade from hand-me-down plates, cups and toasters to nicer items that you’ll have for the rest of your life.

But here’s where it gets tricky.  Traditional etiquette also states that it is incredibly poor form to ask for cash, or to include information about your wedding list anywhere on (or near) your invitations.  So how do you let your guests know what you’d like?

Through the Grapevine

One of the easiest ways to let people know about your wedding list, or that you’d prefer to receive cash instead of gifts, is to tell your family and friends and let them spread the word.  So when Great Auntie Mary asks your mother what she should get you as a present, your mam can say Actually, I know they are trying to save for a deposit on a house… I think they might appreciate a contribution towards that or I know they set up a wedding list at <insert shop name here>.

Having a goal that you are saving for helps your guests to feel like they are contributing something to your new life together.  It also makes it easier on you when it comes to thank you notes, as you can simply write Thank you for your generous gift.  We are saving for <insert goal here>, and thanks to you we are a little bit closer to our dream.

Hit the Web

Nowadays, many tech-savvy brides (and grooms!) are creating their own wedding websites.  This is a great way to let your guests know about your wedding list, or to ask for cash, as it is completely okay to direct people to your website on your invitations or enclosure cards.

Some tips?  If you’re asking for cash, why not include a cute poem on your website to give your guests a smile?

To celebrate our wedding you may wish to buy us presents
However this is not required, all we want is your presence.

If you insist, we must admit, some money would be great
To help us do some home improvements at a later date.

Regardless of which choice you make, all we would like to say,
is come along and have some fun, on this our special day.

One final tip about wedding websites not all your guests may be as tech-savvy as others (like Great Auntie Mary!) so be sure to spread the word to your family and friends as well.

A Final Word About Gifts

At the end of the day, your wedding is meant to be about celebrating the start of your new life together.  Remember that a wedding can be a big expense for your guests they may have to get new clothes and pay for travel and accommodation, not to mention the guests who have already paid to attend your hen and your groom’s stag.  Your guests are there because they care about you both, and they want to celebrate your special day with you… and that is one of the best gifts you can ever receive.

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