Your Wedding Day: Peaceful or Not?

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Your wedding day is a day for you, your family and friends to celebrate your happy union and be filled with carefree love and laughter; but what do you do if there is upset in the family, how do you keep the peace?


Facing a wedding day, knowing there is a divorced, remarried, separated, non-talking couple or basically a touchy subject can be worrying for the bride and groom, especially if the couple happen to be their parents and will have to participate on the day.

As the bride and groom, you want all your guests to take pleasure in the day’s celebrations, and of course your parents will feel exactly the same. Hopefully, because you all share the same goal of a happy celebration, they’re shouldn’t be any problems. But every now and then, with the best will in the world, tensions in the family unit can raise their ugly heads and plunge you into worries about how your day will fair out.

Most of us have been there, whether or not it was at a wedding or some other event, it’s never nice, but here are some ways to make sure your day goes without a hitch…

  •  Honestly assess the situation during the planning process, talk to the parties involved, individually, and air your worries. If the problem is your parents, be blunt but calm with them, tell them what you expect, ask them how they feel about certain things such as posing for family photographs etc. Ask them to put aside their differences and celebrate something they both have in common – you.
  •  Wedding invitations are sent by the person hosting the wedding, it’s not uncommon for the marrying couple to send their invites, especially if they are paying for most of it. You should always remember, however to do what you want, do not feel pressurised to use your mums name and not your dads etc if you don’t want!
  • If your parents are divorced with two different sets of friends all vying for an invite, remember you have final say on who goes to your wedding! If there is a new partner involved with one of your parents, who you feel will cause upset on the day, think carefully about if you want them in attendance at all. This will be a hard decision to make but you will be glad of it when your day arrives.
  • When it comes to family photographs, make sure your photographer has a list of your groups so they are prepared. At a family wedding I was at recently, the photographer was very clever and told the grooms parents both to step in for a photograph. Although they don’t speak neither wanted to say anything and did as they were told! The groom now has a lovely photograph of his complete family, all thanks to the photographer acting a little bit dumb! This may not work for everyone, but surely the couple can stand for two minutes to get a photo taken! You should talk this over with your parents beforehand if you think this will cause a really big upset.
  • The thing about weddings is that there are no rules. There are traditions, but if these don’t suit you, fair enough, bend them to suit! The seating plan is one area which could cause rumbles, but just make sure you are well prepared before hand and think carefully about where you seat people. If your parents don’t want to sit at the top table, thats fine!

One thing you should remember, it is YOUR day and ultimately you have the final say!


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