Etiquette / rules for booking my wedding. Help!

Clueless-bride-to-be48
user for 4 years
4 years ago
Hi everyone! I a new to this forum. Only got engaged a few weeks ago. I just have a few questions I need help with.

Firstly I am bridesmaid for my friend getting married this time next year. Is it bad form if I get married before her. I don't want a long engagement so I was thinking of next September October. The other date we have in mind is march/April 2017. Which would be after her wedding. But seems so far away to me.

The other thing I want to ask is about venues and photographers etc. If we decide to go with next September I wouldn't go to the same hotel my friend is going to but if we got married after her would it be okay to go to the same hotel she is going to? And the same applies to the photographer would it be bad of me to use the same photographer she is if I got married with before or after her.

I am probably overthinking all of this just don't know what the 'rules' are when it comes to planning my wedding when my friends are doing the same.

Thanks in advance for any replies!
Sept16bride
user for 5 years
4 years ago
Hiya!!,

Firstly, congrats on your engagement!! Exciting times!!!

So here is my two cents, we had booked our venue and a few weeks later a friend of mine got engaged too, she was talking about possibly using my venue and tbh it kinda pissed me off becaus at the time I thought she was gona be married before me. I was fine if she was going to use it after but not before mine. If that makes sense... Kinda petty but hey it's my day!! My sister also got engaged a few months after me and was contemplating getting married before me which I was a bit annoyed about but figured it's fine as long as it's it's not within 4-5 mi that of each other.. She didn't in the end, but I think for you as long as you are not too close to her date it should be ok. As for photographer I don't think it matters, wouldn't bother me in the slightest if my sister or my friend used him. I think you should be ok there
April3050
user for 4 years
4 years ago
Hello! Congratulations on your engagement.

If you're a bridesmaid for your friend, you obviously must be really good friends with her - why don't you ask her if she's okay with the dates close by?

Up to 2 months before her wedding is ideal, if you'll be inviting some of the same guests (finances etc).

Personally I'd stay away from her venue, unless it's after her wedding and then she wouldn't care.

Same suppliers - she shouldn't really care about this and neither should you.

All the best :)
MrsFreckles
user for 5 years
4 years ago
I would say getting married before her is okay - just let her know what you are thinking. Myself and two of my friends got engaged within three weeks of each other! The first girl to get engaged isn't getting married till oct 2016 then the second got married this month and Im getting married February!

Also my brother got engaged after me and got married before me - I didn't mind one bit.

I definitely wouldn't use her venue though before her after is fine. I think I would be annoyed with that one.

Suppliers I wouldn't mind either but may be not the band?!?

Enjoy the planning!
misty
user for 5 years
4 years ago
I think the dates are fine, it's not too close so can't see it being an issue. I agree with the other girls and probably wouldn't use her venue but maybe she wouldn't mind? Only way to find out is to ask her. If she isn't ok with it than it's not an option though, even if you're getting married after her I still would make sure she's ok with it

As for photographer, I think that would be fine. A photographer won't even be noticed by other guests unless they're really bad for getting in the way! There's so many different aspects to a wedding so I think it's fine to share a few as long as the overall theme is different